Over
the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned
is "happiness." I worry about happiness goals because I'm not sure if
we know what happiness is or when we have accomplished this goal. I just read a
book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman. He is a
psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The following
are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think about them
and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
Happiness to me is not just one thing, but rather an accumulation of positive traits that build on each other and in part grant ease and peace of mind. Seligman has good thoughts on authentic happiness, the interesting thing about his suggestions on happiness is that happiness seems to be fundamental with understanding, a sense of awareness. For instance, the first point, “Realize that the past does not determine your future”. This to me embodies the importance of mindfulness in our thoughts, which transitions into his other point, optimism. “Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future”. Optimism seems to be central with goals that we strive for, and our goals seem to be related to happiness. There can be a determining factor about how pessimistic or how optimistic we are in setting those goals which lead back to our mindset of happiness or unhappiness in the first place. The most influential statement made is probably “take time to enjoy the present moment”, this is important to me because far too often we get caught up in petty concerns, concerns that restrain us from truly experiencing joy, happiness and the present moment.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me is making a difference to those who are important in my life. Achieving your goals, making a good future for yourself and being able to provide for your family. Being a good father is the best part of my life, and making a difference and educating my daughter about life is such a blessing. Enjoy the present and don't dread on the past. Being positive and let it influence others, you need to be a good person and help others. Most importantly be happy with who you are, life will often be hard and a lot of the times things won't go as planned. But you always have time for yourself, and if you are not happy with who you are it will make you unhappy with life. No one can make you happy but yourself, and if you are happy with yourself you will be able to do anything and make a difference to others in your life.
ReplyDeleteI think for being happiness is try to forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future . Also.we have to believe that the good things will always victory over evil and bad things. Other things for being happiness especially in college if I get a bad grads , I will focus on the next opportunity to get better by working hard . Moreover, we have to take time for self renewal such as physical activity ,and social engagement. such as to find out some activities which make us happy and engage in them . The most important thing is that we have to realize that the past doesn't determine our future, which is open to new possibilities , so we have to build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting , which is not easy, but we have to do it and turn the page for the new and best future. and test the happy times. The last thing for being happy is to be optimistic and leave the bad things go away . I think that when we think optimistic , we will think right way and logically. In contrast the pessimistic way gives the bad thoughts and bad health as well .
ReplyDelete7- Take time to enjoy the present moment. This is one of the best ways that each person should start his day by thinking of this quote. We cannot be perfect every day, but we can make today as perfect as we can. Instead of waste time this day by not doing the homework, assignments , or study for a quiz , this will affect this day and make worthless especially these days we all have finals coming soon. I will not say yea lets party today we have finals next week, mean lets make this day perfect by studying, because I am as a student, my maim job is studying. I feel really comfortable when I have a papers due and I start doing it a week or 10 days before, I really enjoy my day when I fail to sleep and I have done quarter of the assignment that due next week, I feel like the aim of this day was doing as much as homework I can , to enjoy my day today and work a bit less tomorrow .
ReplyDeleteI really admire what Seligman says. I think being happy is focusing on the good moments and making those happen as frequent as possible. Bad moments will happen but if one does not focus on them or give them too much of their attention they will surely fade. Also his list of things to increase happiness are awesome. It is difficult to try to do them all, all the time. But if one can do at least one a day I believe it will improve their life and overall happiness. A big one I like is forgive and forget. One's heart does not have enough room for a bunch of hate if they also want to be happy. Things happen but people should let things go and move on, because holding on to grudges will do no one any good. I am trying to convince my mom of it, she has stopped talking to her mom over a little argument and my grandma is looking at only living for a few more year. She will surely regret it when her mom passes and she never forgave and made up. I also try to embrace being in the moment. Especially in this day and age, people are so caught up in everything they forget to live every day to the fullest or at least cherish it as if it was their last. I find myself stopping and telling myself just embrace the beauty of which Im currently in, because this exact moment will never happen again.
ReplyDeleteI totally believe in Martin Seligman suggestions on happiness. I believe there are several other factors that make people happy too. It’s like the ingredients needed for a recipe. It’s a mix of love, hard work and life experiences. The things that make me happy are my health, my future success and my family. But my family is the basic foundation of my happiness. There is nothing like having a family members shoulder to lean on when my days are going bad. I can achieve every goal or desire in the world but if I don’t have anyone to share it with I’m not going to be very happy. I also believe that happiness is up to each and every one of us. It is not, nor will it ever be, served on a silver platter. It is not available for purchase at your local convenience store. Nobody is going to find it for you. It is your job to find your own rainbow. I guess my finally ingredient for a happy life would be to learn to be curious, and you’ll have an endless stream of exciting things for you experience. Remember happiness isn't free. You have to earn it and work to keep it. So get off your butt and get started!
ReplyDeleteFinding happiness, not hedonism, is very important especially in times like now. Studies show our generation experiences more stress in one day than our grandparents did in their whole lives. While things have become so fast paced and convenient, most of us now all expect instant gratification. I've been guilty of hedonism, but now that I have my daughter I really want to instill the appreciation of the little things in life. as we've seen this week and frequently in San Diego with the fires, material possessions can be lost in fifteen minutes, your whole life gone in a flash. If you don't have an appreciation for laughter, nature, people, and knowing that everything happens for a reason, your ability to bounce back from a tragedy such as that and have a happy life is slim to none an event like that is crippling to someone's mentality. In today's society it is so hard to not to settle for hedonism, and most people truly don't know the difference between material possessions and actual happiness anymore. I try to remember things like my baby laughing, or the Planet Earth and Life series' with the dancing decorating birds and all of the beautiful things mother nature has to offer for free when I start to get down about not having a house on the beach or a mercedes.
ReplyDeleteYou make an excellent point about the fires around San Diego. As you say, all can be lost in a matter of minutes. Some even risk their lives to save their things! The only way to deal with this loss is to realize that material goods are not the most important values in our lives. Good insight!
DeleteHappiness to me is having a successful career that you enjoy and taking care of your family. You can not live with your parents your whole life so you need to make money. I agree with Matin Seligman's suggestions on happiness, especially realizing that the past does not determine your future. There are people who have been bullied when they were younger and so they feel the need to get revenge and become a bully to make them feel better. A lot of people had difficult experiences in their childhood and the ones that use it for motivation are successful. The people that dwell on those experiences are not happy with themselves. I also agree with finding activities that make you happy and want to engage in them. When you have time off work, it is good to get out and have fun with whatever you enjoy doing instead of sleeping all day and saying that you are relaxing. It is not healthy to focus all of your energy on your job and you have to find a balance between work and time with your friends and family. Everybody works for money but you can not let money control you.
ReplyDeleteI liked all the ideas, especially taking time to enjoy the moment. This semester flew by and so did my kids freshman year inhigh school. You blink and a week month year has gone by. If your always in a hurry how will you ever enjoy the current moment......I have come realize you won't. Life is good yes this is tru but life does not stop,therefore we have to stop and enjoy the moment. I also liked the idea of your past does not determine your future. What ever obsticles bad experiences it does not mean things will be like this forever. Staying positive , strong and driven is crucial. Being kind to ourselves is important as well, this chapter was a wonderful reminder. It is so so so easy to say negative things about ourselves. When it comes to saying soemthing postive it is hard to say something positive. This chapter had great ideas on how to stay positive. I really enjoyed reading it and it was one of my favorite chapters!
ReplyDeleteI feel that when he talks about how the past does not control what happens in my future, The choices I made in the past inform on how I will make choices in the future but they do not control them. I agree that when I spend time doing activities with my friends I tend to be in a better mood but occasionally I need to spend some time to myself otherwise I get burnt out being around people. I think that working on optimism is not always the easiest thing to do unless that is a natural feeling, sometimes I’ll feel optimistic but other times the situation tends to make me feel pessimistic and it is a struggle to make myself focus on keeping a better outcome in mind. An alternative perspective on happiness is that happiness is a state of not pursuing happiness and being content with what one has. When you relax and allow the present moment be exactly as it is, there is a wealth of happiness that will be available to you. Overall I agree with a lot of what Seligman says. To me Happiness is being able to enjoy myself while not having to worry about the stressful things that occasionally weight on my mind.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my future statements , I think telling myself what I can do instead of what I cant do. I am going to keep a journal, to be able to reflect when Im having a bad day remind myself there are good days. I am excited about starting summer school and spending time with my family. This semester went by rather fast. I am proud I dedicated my time and energy and followed through. It feels good very good , I can only imagine how much better it will feel to be holding that degree! Positive thoughts equal positive actions!
ReplyDeleteHappiness is such a broad subject that either makes you or breaks you. There are so many different aspects within that, which can make your life better! Happiness is one of the main things in life that can actually keep you going, and stop you form going crazy. One of the many secrets that Seligman has to offer is not letting the past determine your future. I think this point is so important because if we continuously dwell in the past, it will only let us live for the life we used to have, or the wrong things we had done. Everyone has a past, whether you were a shining star or a dull piece of sand, we all have our good and bad days and it is up to us along with our future, to change how we feel and strive for a better more happy life. Another great point Seligman has to offer, would be to take the time to enjoy present moment. Nowadays we take everything so lightly, stressing so much about our work, what’s going to be happening next week or next year, and not thinking enough about what is actually happening right now. In my opinion, and form personal experience, I don’t show my gratitude for being able to wake up in the morning healthy, and live my day being thankful for all I have, and enjoying every minute of the day.
ReplyDeleteTo me happiness is many things. Spending time with my fiancé and family is one of the many blessings that make me happy. I try not to dwell on the negative and do my best to always think positively. I definitely believe in Seligmans statements about happiness. We take so many things in life for granted that we do not slow down to enjoy the moment. Some of my favorite memories are times spent at home with family and enjoying each other’s company and laughing. I try to be as optimistic about my future as possible and I get excited for what the future holds.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest accomplishment is becoming happy with who I am. I learned to let go of negativity and it has made me a more confident strong person. I have found a few hobby’s that make my life so much more enjoyable and have learned to pay attention to the little things. I pay great attention to detail when I am out and about and try to find small things to observe and admire like a birds nest, or a unique cloud. Taking a moment for these things gives me a bubbly feeling that lasts throughout the day and I feel truly happy.
What happiness to me is being happy with who you are as a person. It doesn't always have to be every second but more often than not. Being happy is a choice, a choice to live better, to succede, to have stable relationships. Happiness is a gift and you decide what your going to go with your gift. Are you going to leave it wrapped up and not show anyone or are you going to expose it and show it off. Many times when I am with people that are happy and excited to either go somewhere or do something everyone feeds off of each other and there are no bad times. I've never met anyone that enjoyed being unhappy. Happiness to me is being in a relationship and a good one with God, spending time with my family on my days off, going out and talking with my boyfriend and building a better bond. Seeing my family and others around me happy brings me joy. Knowing especially this weekend that many students from SDSU graduated, that I am doing this for a purpose and that someday what ever school I decide on going to that I will be wearing my black cap and gown. Happiness is simply smiling and accepting you for you, you can't change the past but you can change the future.
ReplyDeleteHappiness can mean a lot for me. The word happiness simply means my health for me because I found out that our health is precious and anyone can ask for a lifetime health. I am pleased to have a good health, and I have a nice body shape and have a good appearance in order to be attractive for my self. I am very appreciative kind of person means I appreciate even the small laugh that I laugh sometimes because if you take everything in consideration; we should think about how our life is growing so good and becoming better and improving to step forward everyday. I think about some people around the world who are experiencing hunger or starvation and here we are having our delicious and healthy food everyday nonstop and the things we love to drink and have it every hour not even every minute. I think everyone should take a moment and think of other sufferings and pains. I try to be as hopeful as I can because life doesn't worth to live in sadness. I think positively to entertain myself as much as I can to forget about the bad experience and move forward and reach my goal to the top.
ReplyDeleteHaving a good family members around me can affect my life positively because my parents and siblings support me and stand in the hard times with me. I appreciate how my parents care about me and I care about them in return to have their blessings, so I can be successful in the future. My Family is very important for me because not everyone can have a family a lot of people are abundant at this moment and are suffering of loneliness and hard times no one can ever imagine.
I went through very hard times before leaving my country Iraq, but as of now I look forward to continue my education as soon as I can for a bright future and build a family after that to search for a good partner that will make me happy for my lifetime. I don't care about the past even if there is some things that never be forgotten, but I can remove these memories to move always and not to go back. I think positively to be optimistic as much as I can to live, love, and laugh in order to prove my successfulness in life.
Happiness means many things to me. Being a healthy person will make anyone happy. I strive to live a healthy lifestyle and put exercise into my daily routine. It is important to stick close with your family if you want to be happy, because they are the ones that are always there for you. My fiance makes me the happiest person in the world, because we get along so great and he can make me smile anytime. Having hobbies and fun extracurriculer activities makes me happy, because it is doing things that I enjoy to do. Playing sports, hanging out at the beach, whatever makes you happy is your choice to do, because you are the only one that will make you happy.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is something which everyone desires. In my own words, I would define happiness as feeling good about life. This can obviously be split into many categories such as work, relationships, hobbies, etc.. However, as we all know life is full of ups and downs. We often seek happiness as much as possible, whether it be the small moments in life, or the long-term feeling. I personally try to do both. For example, when meeting people for the first time, I try to smile and make jokes. In that moment, I am happy for a short period of time. Additionally, I try to keep my long term relationships good. I apologize when I make mistakes. I try to do my fair share of work. And I try to keep things interesting and show a genuine interest. While doing all of these things, I am able to share great moments with loved ones. I think it is important to aim for both types of happiness. It’s also essential to avoid dreading on the negativity of others. Everyone has their bad days, you don’t know what they are going through. Rather than take things too seriously or personally, I remind myself that I have bad days too and later feel guilty for being rude or mean to others.
ReplyDeleteSaralina Carman.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is simple; Happiness is spending a great time with family and friends,
Happiness is watching babies develop and grow, happiness is being grateful for good health, happiness is accomplishing a goal little or big. Happiness is waking up every morning and thanking God for that day.
Happiness is learning new things that open your mind to other worlds and perspectives.
I am proud to say that I keep a good perspective in life and have had difficult time
And kept positive and looking forward, I am a happy person, do have bad days sometimes, but after chapter 14 and others I will accomplish more, I have learned that the past does not determine my future and that the future is open to possibilities.
I feel very happy at the moment and grateful for all I have my family is all well, so my new goal is to succeed in school, organize my time, sleep a little better, not be late,
Forgive and forget.
I personally agree with what Seligman defines as creating and increasing happiness. What calls to me the most is number 3, and 8. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. It goes along with number 2 with placing emphasis on the good events. Things happened in the past but people tend to use it to define themselves. This works along with number 1 and think the worst from their past will dictate their future. There is no turning forward in that light. but happiness is foriving and forgetting. It happened and it gives you a chance to realize the positive part from it. What has it lead you to-- whether finding out who you can trust, how you can learn from your mistakes, how it brought you closer to people who care or maybe you weren't ready for something too intense but there will be a time or lastly realizing what is a better path to take. Happiness is most certainlly the experience in others, the moment, the past and the future, and yourself. Happiness, to me, is the growth that got you to the moment of being able to (number 8) feel happy for what you have and what you have experienced.
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